Are you ready to go? Do you have everything? Kids babysitter has all the contact information? Do you have your extremely large bag of snacks and pretzel necklace? Uber installed and 100% on your phone?
Going to a beer festival can be fun, but can be a bit intimidating when you go to some of the big ones like the just past Michigan Brewers Guild Summer Beer Festival, Great American Beer Fest, Taste of the Midwest, or even large brewery release parties like Dark Lord Day at 3 Floyds. We will attack the 10 things you need to know attending a beer festival in another article, but here are the 5 people you will see at every beer festival!
- The Rookie
Someone who has never been to a beer fest (maybe this is you), and is overwhelmed by all of the beers available that they can try. They begin to drink the biggest, the heaviest, and after an hour they’re already looking like they’ve went ten rounds with Mike Tyson. They forgot to eat, forgot to drink water, and forgot to pace themselves. They’ve probably had no issues doing this before…when it was Miller Lite tall boys, but after the 8th taste of a Barrel Aged Indian Pale Quad, they are already done and cannot be resurrected.
2. The “I’ve Had Better” One, a.k.a. One-Upper
Do you have that friend who can’t talk about a beer that they’ve had? Or the one who wants to tell you about the previous years version of the beer, or how it hasn’t tasted the same for ten years? What about the guy who just can’t wait to brag about that ‘whale‘ that they has in their cellar that they has absolutely no intention on drinking and hoping it can score them another beer, another one they have no intention of drinking.
3. The “Everything Cool Is Bad” One.
No, they don’t hate the beers you like, they just hates that they’re so hyped. Whether they want to remind you they liked a beer before it was cool, or they want to only drink quadruple water filtered grass fed hopped beer, they do everything they can to not be trendy, and ironically is trending with all their friends. The hyped beers will never live up to expectation, and in the end he’s just going to take a big ol dump on anything you like or want to enjoy.
4. The “I Only Drink Barrel Aged Beers” One
Sure your beer is great, but it’d be much better barrel aged. It gets better if it’s been put into a barrel in a meta form of way… including maple syrup (looking at you Founders). The beers are high in ABV, usually rare, and they will wait in a line for an hour just to get a three ounce pour. This person will even stay within their own mindset and not go to any small breweries who do some barrel aging because they won’t taste as good as the others.
5. The “I’m More Excited To Be Here Than Drink Here” One
Typically wearing some outlandish outfit, their beer never seems to go down in size from all the photos you see of them. They are more there to be the center of attention than to drink the actual beer there. Don’t get me wrong, this guy paid to get in just like everyone else, and is probably have the time of their life. Just make sure to get your picture with him early!